Like many relationships, mine with yoga started for purely physical reasons. I’ve played competitive soccer my entire life, and at one point so many friends on my various teams were talking about yoga that I knew I needed to try it. I didn’t really want to because I was sure it would be extremely difficult. I’d never been flexible and couldn’t even touch my toes! But as an athlete I knew it would be good for me, so I finally decided to give it a try, promising myself I would attend five classes before I quit.
I was hooked after two.
At first my attraction was indeed just physical, but it was powerful, and I remember the exact moment I felt it. It was in the middle of that second class, during a seated forward fold. As I was breathing deeply, part of my lower back stretched and released in a way I’d never experienced before, and it felt healthful and nurturing and, well, GOOD. That night I honestly fell asleep thinking about that stretch. I was fascinated. And I wanted more.
I continued to attend classes because of the physical reaction my body was having, but then I unexpectedly developed emotional feelings as well. I also remember the exact moment this happened. It was a couple months later, at the very end of class after yet another taxing day at a job I truly hated. I was seated in cross-legged position with my eyes closed, and I remember breathing deeply, feeling relaxed, and thinking how I was looking at the inside of my eyelids. Then it suddenly dawned on me that this was the ONLY thing I was thinking. My head had been emptied of all the horrible, negative thoughts that had been stressing me out. How do you remove EVERY THOUGHT from your head? When I realized what had happened, I felt a sense of calm and peace wash over me that was simply indescribable.
I was in love.
I began to practice regularly, starting twice a week and eventually reaching three, four, even five days a week now when I can swing it. Over the years my feelings have only grown stronger, and my practice has become a major priority in my life. I do my best to treat it with the respect and commitment it deserves. In return yoga has strengthened my body, calmed my mind, made me more patient and understanding, and pushed me to believe in myself. It’s helped me find the courage to change my career, start a business, travel the world alone, write a novel, and most recently make a life-changing solo move from San Francisco to New York—which is what introduced me to the wonderful, supportive community that is Yoga People.
Yoga is always there for me when I need it, and it manages to make me smile even when I am sad. If I ever neglect it by skipping a week or by not focusing while in class, it lets me know—either through extreme hamstring soreness or the sheer inability to hold a simple balancing pose—that I’m not paying the attention it deserves. My practice gives selflessly but also holds me accountable, which is what I want and need out of my relationships with those I love, admire and respect.
Hmm. Now if only I could find all of that with a man…
Happy Valentine’s Day!
-Maria Murnane, author of Perfect on Paper, to be released February 2010
www.mariamurnane.com
maria@mariamurnane.com
